Sunday, May 3, 2009

As popular as popped collars, sundresses, not eating, Rainbow sandals, and small bathing suits all are, failing to follow one of these college trends could actually save your life. Unfortunately, forced malnutrition is a common occurrence across the USA and has been found to occur more densely in South Eastern colleges, especially sororities, as young women starve themselves to fit into skimpy, summer clothing. More unfortunate is the ramification this malnutrition can cause on your bodies. Not only will your muscles atrophy, but your style eventually will too as your hair becomes more raggedy; bags under your eyes heavier; and your ribs more pronounced. Girls, eating, and eating healthily, is essential to look good, feel good, and perform well in college. That's why I'm here to inform you beautiful ladies about the wonders of eating. Be it apples, oranges, celery, steak, or lamb; eating is good.

One could choose to eat a small yogurt cup, then a celery stick, and finally half an apple or, if you girls wanted to be real trend setters, the avant-garde of your sorority, you could chose to eat breakfast first, then lunch, and finally dinner. Most girls in college have a problem with their weight, appearance, or have some other demon haunting them but few are able to handle them in a responsible way. Luckily, eating well rounded meals and exercising regularly can help fend off the pounds you ladies hate so much, all the while enabling you to look your best and the "bros" to love you. In fact, a recent FORBES survey showed that over ninety percent of fraternity brothers prefer women with more than a five percent Body Mass Index. Essentially girls this means that bros don’t think that obsessive thinness equates beauty. So ladies, I urge you, EAT, you'll love it more than Prada, I swear.

Each of you might be surprised by the many benefits of food ranging from its use in tanning oil, hair lightener, makeup, clothing dye and shampoo. But sisters, to clear something up, you not eating doesn’t mean that there is more makeup, nor does it mean that Africans are getting your food. YOU ARE NOT HUMANITARIANS, just enjoy your food and enjoy eating it.

And finally I would like to spend some time addressing the different types of healthy foods one can consume, and enjoy without feeling guilty. While I could list them alphabetically starting with apples and ending with zucchini it would be much easier to set you out on the world with a set of parameters or guidelines for good food that’s easy to eat without feeling bad. First, paying more for food isn’t a bad thing natural, organic food normally tastes better and is most defiantly better for you. So if you all are to take one thing away from this remember that eating can be fun, is more healthy, and you all should definitely make time in your schedule for it.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

WA 7 Draft 1

As popular as popped collars, sundresses, not eating, Rainbow sandals, and small bathing suits all are, failing to follow one of these college trends could actually save your life. Unfortunately, forced malnutrition is a common occurrence across the USA and has been found to occur more densely in South Eastern colleges, especially sororities, as young women starve themselves to fit into skimpy, summer clothing. More unfortunate is the ramification this malnutrition can cause on your bodies. Not only will your muscles atrophy, but your style eventually will too as your hair becomes more raggedy; bags under your eyes heavier; and your ribs more pronounced. Girls, eating, and eating healthily, is essential to look good, feel good, and perform well in college. That's why I'm here to inform you beautiful ladies about the wonders of eating. Be it apples, oranges, celery, steak, or lamb; eating is good.

One could choose to eat a small yogurt cup, then a celery stick, and finally half an apple or, if you girls wanted to be real trend setters, the avant-garde of your sorority, you could chose to eat breakfast first, then lunch, and finally dinner. Most girls in your college have a problem with their weight, appearance or some other demon haunting them but few are able to handle them in a responsible way. Luckily, eating well rounded meals and exercising regularly can help fend off the pounds you ladies hate so much all the while enabling you to look your best and the "bros" to love you. In fact, a recent FORBES survey showed that over ninety percent of fraternity brothers prefer women with more than a five percent Body Mass Index. Essentially girls this means that bros don’t think that obsessive thinness equates beauty. So ladies, I urge you, EAT, you'll love it more than Prada, I swear.

Each of you might be surprised by the many benefits of food ranging from its use in tanning oil, hair lightener, makeup, clothing dye and shampoo. But sisters, to clear something up, you not eating doesn’t mean that there is more makeup, nor does it mean that Africans are getting your food. YOU ARE NOT HUMANITARIANS, just enjoy your food and enjoy eating it.

And finally I would like to spend some time addressing the different types of healthy foods one can consume, and enjoy without feeling guilty. While I could list them alphabetically starting with apples and ending with zucchini it would be much easier to set you out on the world with a set of parameters or guidelines for good food that’s easy to eat without feeling bad. First, paying more for food isn’t a bad thing natural, organic food normally tastes better and is most defiantly better for you. So if you all are to take one thing away from this remember that eating can be fun, is more healthy, and you all should definitely make time in your schedule for it.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

WA 6- Draft 2

My name is Adimiv Dalila-Hasini Jabarl and when I was six National Geographic changed my life and the lives of all of my friends in my Tanzanian village. That one moment of pure joy is manifested in the photo taken by National Geographic. It was the day they told my village about the gift we were to receive.

It had been a week since I had eaten, so I chewed furiously and futilely on the back end of my fork, but this was a proud moment for my mother, aunt and two brothers - Jabari, and Bakari. A Western magazine company had come to our village to talk to my friends and I. They had come before, two rain seasons ago, to set up a small school and poke our arms will long needles.

They brought truckloads of materials to build the clinic and taught my aunt to administer the pokes and clean simple wounds with stinging water and gauze. But this time they also came with books, tables, chairs and pens. The moment they arrived the entire village was filled with a buzz of excitement and the heavy thuds of the workers building the school. My aunt and mother worked hard to provide for our family but the money they made and the food they grew and harvested wasn’t enough to put me through school.

Fortunately the magazine company realized the predicament that I, and many other families were faced with so they sold the pictures from their last encounter with us and, using the profit, were able to pay for both the school and teaching staff. Construction was due to be completed within three months.

The three months it took to finish building the school was the most agonizing time I have ever spent. Every day after I finished my chores I would sprint to the construction site and watch the men lift mud bricks and pour the concrete filler. And finally the moment came, we were given the school and interviewed about the changes it would make it our lives and how we hoped to use our knowledge to improve the world. Sadly to say I was still too small to start school but waited outside windows to catch fragments of discussions and parts of lectures.

Those hot summer days spent rushing through my chores and baking under the sun to catch fragments of knowledge were just the beginnings of my constant yearning for knowledge. That gift and the gift to my community changed my life forever, and I know it will be many more seasons until something is ever as pivotal and influential as that single contribution from National Geographic.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

I leave my home, and the instant my journey begins men grapple over me, fighting to help me into the car. Once we arrive to the wedding both men fight over who has the pleasure to help me out of the car, the smaller man watches on the sidelines as his buddy escorts me into the reception hall. I lay in wait until I choose to be unveiled, unrolled and presented; front and center, dominating the scene, deep brown, waxed, and beautiful. The men leave, and I sit alone, waiting for the guests to arrive.

Their presence is first apparent by the swish-swish of dresses and the clatter of coat hangers. As the hall fills with friends and family of the bride and groom, they stand around me admiring my gorgeous exterior, and awkwardly chat until the two guests of honor sweep into room. The man, with long broad heavy steps, and his new wife, with short unstable steps, unaccustomed to her tall heels, stand tentatively on me. After a few uncomfortable, but gracious, words the party kicks off and I regain my rightful spot as the center of attention.

The dancing and revelries continue late into the night, and I remain the most important facet of the room. Until, as if a monsoon swept them away, everyone leaves and I sit unattended as the young couple stands in front of a large table cutting and sharing food. This one act of insolence is the turning point of the night, and things progressively get worse.

It starts with the clumsy eaters, propelled by children yearning to spend time with me, who spill their food and drink on me, the acidic soda and champagne eats away at my varnish and my beauty. Next are the clumsy dancers, encouraged by an open bar and a multitude of single women, yearning for their soul mate. The scuffs their shoes mar my surface and irk me. I just want to go back to my cool warehouse, and spend some time decompressing.

I’ve never been happier then when the party finally winds down. The entire family seems to make a point of standing and walking across me as they leave. And my two heroes finally come back and rescue me from the empty expanse. They are late, as usual and I’m roughly shoved into my case, and back into the van, and it seems as if the two meatheads driving hit every pothole on the way back.

PART DOS

Dear Diary,

I have waited so long for this day, and to see it come to its fruition was possibly the most perfect, fulfilling and romantic moment in my life. I was so overjoyed when today day went of without a hitch, but what can you expect; I planned this to the very last detail, from the color of the chairs to the mahogany dance floor.

Our day started off at the wedding when the state troopers escorted us to the 12th Century Roman Catholic Church, only to be met by a bona-fide cardinal who preformed the rites and, to my embarrassment, posed for pictures afterwards.

Both Charles and I had written our own vows, but there was none of the typical new age flowery nonsense that normally occurs. After I accepted the ring, said, “I do” and sung some hymns we were able to get on to the meat of this whole shindig, the reception.

By the time Charles and I arrived most of our guests, and all of our most important friends were already assembled on the shiny dance floor that dominated the center of the gargantuan country club reception hall. We waltzed into the center of them, and danced to our favorite song. After the few minutes of awkward gawking other guests joined us.

From there our night progressed on to dinner; fillet mignon, tossed greens and a corn salad. After the plates had been cleared my parents and friends toasted our health, relationship and wished us luck for our days to come. Afterwards we cut the cake and moseyed around chit chatting with our guests and thanking them for their presence.

The party didn’t wind down until twelve o’clock and after all of the people had left we retired to the bedroom upstairs, after surveying the wreckage we had incurred on the tables, dance floor and bar.

The next morning we left for Australia were we plan to spend a week in Sydney and the brush, enjoying the wildlife and the nightlife.

I am only mildly upset that it’s been two days since I’ve written because I enjoy the non-stop action, and the organized chaos (As Charles puts it). It’s nice to get a little me time on the plane so I can gear up for our week of adventure.

Ta ta for now,

Nora

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dear Diary,

         I have waited so long for this day, and to see it come to its fruition was possibly the most perfect, fulfilling and romantic moment in my life. I was so overjoyed when today day went of without a hitch, but what can you expect; I planned this to the very last detail, from the color of the chairs to the mahogany dance floor.

         Our day started off at the wedding when the state troopers escorted us to the 12th Century Roman Catholic Church, only to be met by a bona-fide cardinal who preformed the rites and, to my embarrassment, posed for pictures afterwards. The Church was all decked out in gorgeous gothic architecture, stained glass windows and ornate wooden pews.

         Both Charles and I had written our own vows, but there was none of the typical new age flowery nonsense that normally occurs. After I accepted the ring, said, “I do” and sung some hymns we were able to get on to the meat of this whole shindig, the reception.          

         By the time Charles and I arrived most of our guests, and all of our most important friends were already assembled on the shiny dance floor that dominated the center of the gargantuan country club reception hall. We waltzed into the center of them, and danced to our favorite song. After the few minutes of awkward gawking other key guests joined us like our parents, siblings, and other facets of the wedding. 

         From there our night progressed on to dinner; fillet mignon, tossed greens and a corn salad. After the plates had been cleared my parents and friends toasted our health, relationship and wished us luck for our days to come. Afterwards we cut the cake and moseyed around chit chatting with our guests and thanking them for their presence. 

         The party didn’t wind down until twelve o’clock and after all of the people had left we retired to the bedroom upstairs, after surveying the wreckage we had incurred on the tables, dance floor and bar. 

         The next morning we left for Australia were we plan to spend a week in Sydney and the brush, enjoying the wildlife, the sea creatures and the nightlife.

         I am only mildly upset that it’s been two days since I’ve written because I enjoy the non-stop action, and the organized chaos (As Charles puts it).  It is nice to get a little me time on the plane so I can gear up for our week of adventure.

 

Ta ta for now,

Nora

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Writing Assignment 5 Draft 1

I leave my home, and the instant my journey begins men grapple over me, fighting to help me into the car, I love the extra attention these burly men lather on me, their guttural grunts excite me to my core. Once we arrive to the wedding both men fight over who has the pleasure to help me out of the car, the smaller man watches on the sidelines as his buddy escorts me into the reception hall, until he grabs my outer wraps, and stores them in the coat room. I lay in wait until I choose to be unveiled, unrolled and presented; front and center, dominating the scene, deep brown, waxed, and beautiful.  The men leave, and I sit alone, waiting for the guests to arrive.

Their presence become apparent at first by the swish-swish of their dresses and the clatter of coat hangers, dropped by clumsy hosts.  As this vast hall fills with friends and family of the bride and groom, they stand around me admiring my gorgeous exterior awkwardly chattering until the two guests of honor sweep into room. The man, with long broad heavy steps, and his new wife, with short unstable steps, unaccustomed to her tall heels stand tentatively on me. After a few uncomfortable but gracious words the party kicks off, and I regain my rightful spot as the center of attention at first only joined by the newlyweds, but the other guests acknowledge me as well.

The dancing and the revelries continue late into the night, and I remain the most important facet of the room. Until, as if a monsoon swept them away, everyone leaves, and I sit unattended and unloved as the young couple stands in front of a large table cutting and sharing food. This one act of insolence is the turning point of the night, and the night only progressively gets worse.

It starts with the clumsy eaters, propelled by children yearning to get their time with me, who spill their food and drink on me, the acidic soda and champagne eats away at my varnish and my beauty. Next are the clumsy dancers encouraged by an open bar and a multitude of single women yearning for their soul mate. The scuffs their shoes make mar my surface and irk me. I just want to go back to my cool warehouse, and spend some time decompressing.

I have never been happier then when the party finally winds down. The entire family seems to make a point of standing and walking across me as they leave. And my two heroes finally come back and rescue me from the empty expanse.  They are late, as usual. The take no time to remove the scuff marks or clean off the sticky marks of spilled soda and beer. I’m roughly shoved into my case, and back into the van, and it seems as if the two meatheads driving hit every pothole and every speed bump at full throttle.  Finally I’m unloaded and home.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Obama Letter Draft 2

Dear President Barrack Obama,

            Your election is an intensely profound moment is for us, the collected people of America, to see such an inspirational and devoted person placed at the head of our country, and I hope that you will bring about a four, and hopefully eight, year time of prosperity and peace in our deeply troubled country. While you may think that you know the monumental tasks ahead because of your insightfulness and you knowledge of our history, it still will require overwhelming willpower, strong decision making and a profound interest in the American people. Luckily for my family, community and country I have found these three strengths in your speeches and your campaign.

            While you may recognize this already I only want to reiterate that your presidency is a mark of the beginning of a new United States of America where a person can be chosen for any position by their character, determination and wisdom. And that makes me proud to be part of your campaign and the country which you will govern for the upcoming years.

            While no one knows the extent of the economic crisis we are on the brink of diving head first into, I have full confidence in you, President Obama, to drag our country through this muck while serving only the interests of the collective people and simultaneously breaking the plutocracy that our former President established. And I feel that only when the collective wellbeing is considered can just decisions be made and then our country may prosper.

            An ecological crisis also looms threateningly over the horizon and while this rests on the shoulders of every civilized country in the world it will be your duty to rally the other world powers and be the first large nation to make drastic, but obtainable changes to our way of producing goods, transporting ourselves and harvesting energy. But again I have faith in your judgment and your cabinet's ability to brainstorm and consider new and unaccepted methodology and technology, and only through innovative ways to make energy conservation popular and plausible will we as people be able to overcome or slow global warming and the negative effects we have on our planet.

As Commander-in-Chief you will take vows over Lincoln's Bible to serve and protect our country that has chosen you as our leader. But this protection should be expanded to all people because every soul and dream that is crushed in a soulless public school or a undisclosed military prison is one more unproductive man or woman who is unable to further our country. So I charge you to shut down Guantanamo Bay and No Child Left Behind.

Finally as our President for the next four years I wish you the best of luck and the endurance to be able to withstand the atrocities that your job will have on your outward appearances and most importantly, your soul.  I hope and pray that by the end of your journey you will still have the desire to serve the public and that you will remain as sincere and energetic as you were at the beginning of your campaign.


In Fortitude and Peace,

- Benjamin H. Milner

(Or that guy chanting “B-A-R-A-C-K O-B-A-M-A” at the Charlottesville Virginia rally, I didn’t mean to be rude, I was just excited for your campaign)